Sunday, November 22, 2009

Fallout 3-Where things throw poo at you...

For those of you who aren't gaming geeks, Fallout 3 is a game where you roam the wasteland that is the United States 200 years after huge nuclear war. I only know this because a better part of my evenings are spent watching Chris play. There are raiders and ghouls, huge scorpions and bear-things, super mutants and slavers....all in all a wonderland of things trying to kill you. Or eat you. A typical mission goes something like this....

Chris blasts the head off a raider attacking him. Blood gushes, the body spinning mid-air in slow motion...

Chris: (yelling) That's what I'm talkin' about motherfucker! Fuck You! (now checking the body for supplies) Sweet! Mole rat meat! (seriously)

Me: Ewww. Dude, if the apocalypse comes around just kill me now. I'm soooo not down for MOLE RAT.  Maybe the squirrel on a stick. (again, seriously) But no way am I eating something that is both mole and rat.

Chris: It's the WASTELAND. You do what you have to do to survive.  Shit. I see one of those giant mutant scorpions. I HATE those fuckin' things.  I think this calls for a mini-nuke. (mini-nuke? really.)

Launches mini-nuke. Scorpion pieces rain from the sky.

Chris: YEAHHHH!!!!!

Me: So are you going to eat that?

Chris: No, that's gross.

Me: Whatever happened to "You do what you have to do to SURVIVE?"(talking in my "Chris voice")
I mean, can you eat anything in this game? Like people? Ooooh, can you eat PEOPLE?! Cuz that's what you'd have to do right? I want to see you eat some people!

Chris: (looking like I'm crazy) I don't eat people. Or dogs. Or SCORPIONS! (but you're ALL OVER the mole rat. just sayin'.)

Me: Just not hard core enough I guess.

Chris: (eye roll)


Me: What is THAT? (it was so gnarly. like some kind of mutated person, octopus, blob thing.) Wait, what is it throwing at you? Is it throwing POO AT YOU!?

Chris: Not exactly.

Me: For real, that thing it totally flinging poo. What kind of game IS THIS?

Chris: (eye roll)


  1. Oh my gosh, I got laughing so hard over this, Sara, for two reasons:

    1) I can totally see Chris swearing at the tv and yelling like he normally does.
    2) You were TOTALLY right about eating molerat but NOT scorpions!!!

  2. They should make a TV show out of you two. You're better than the Honeymooners!