For those of you who aren't gaming geeks, Fallout 3 is a game where you roam the wasteland that is the United States 200 years after huge nuclear war. I only know this because a better part of my evenings are spent watching Chris play. There are raiders and ghouls, huge scorpions and bear-things, super mutants and slavers....all in all a wonderland of things trying to kill you. Or eat you. A typical mission goes something like this....
Chris blasts the head off a raider attacking him. Blood gushes, the body spinning mid-air in slow motion...
Chris: (yelling) That's what I'm talkin' about motherfucker! Fuck You! (now checking the body for supplies) Sweet! Mole rat meat! (seriously)
Me: Ewww. Dude, if the apocalypse comes around just kill me now. I'm soooo not down for MOLE RAT. Maybe the squirrel on a stick. (again, seriously) But no way am I eating something that is both mole and rat.
Chris: It's the WASTELAND. You do what you have to do to survive. Shit. I see one of those giant mutant scorpions. I HATE those fuckin' things. I think this calls for a mini-nuke. (mini-nuke? really.)
Launches mini-nuke. Scorpion pieces rain from the sky.
Me: So are you going to eat that?
Chris: No, that's gross.
Me: Whatever happened to "You do what you have to do to SURVIVE?"(talking in my "Chris voice")
I mean, can you eat anything in this game? Like people? Ooooh, can you eat PEOPLE?! Cuz that's what you'd have to do right? I want to see you eat some people!
Chris: (looking like I'm crazy) I don't eat people. Or dogs. Or SCORPIONS! (but you're ALL OVER the mole rat. just sayin'.)
Me: Just not hard core enough I guess.
Chris: (eye roll)
Me: What is THAT? (it was so gnarly. like some kind of mutated person, octopus, blob thing.) Wait, what is it throwing at you? Is it throwing POO AT YOU!?
Chris: Not exactly.
Me: For real, that thing it totally flinging poo. What kind of game IS THIS?
Chris: (eye roll)