Monday, August 20, 2012

That's What She Said...

My blogging inspiration/favorite blogger of all time is Jenny Lawson aka The Bloggess. If you haven't read her blog before, go now. Really, I'll wait. In the mean time I'll look at this picture of puppies.

                                                 It's so cute! Neither of us can look away!

Ok, you're back! How funny was that?! See what I mean? So, when I heard that The Bloggess herself was giving a reading and signing books at Powell's, I knew I had to go. This is what happened...

Score! I'm, like, the third person here! This is going to be AWESOME!!!! Hmmm, I'm kinda hungry. I've got time. Maybe I'll run out.... Crap! Where did all these people come from? Wait, is that the line?! There's a line now?! Curse you stomach! You totally screwed us. Ok, line's not too bad. See, always wear comfortable shoes. Always. What if you have to run from danger? What if you have to wait in line? What if there's a danger line?! Yay! Moving now... Sweet, scored a good seat. Do I make conversation, or just read my book? The eternal question. How social do I want to be? This girl seems nice. Wait, she's talking to the girl beside her. What, I'm not good enough to make meaningless conversation with?! What the hell IS YOUR PROBLEM? Maybe I put off some kind of anti-social vibe. Nah.... Shit, I have to pee. Why didn't I pee? ALWAYS PEE. Why do I always do this? My tombstone is going to read, "I should have peed." It's like my mantra or something. Ok, I have time. I'm leaving my book on the chair so it's clear I'm sitting there. Just going to pee people, not an available seat. Sending out waves of don't even fucking think about stealing my seat or you will see some shit go down I'm so not even kidding don't even try it i will cut you so fast... Whew, made it. OMG it's The Bloggess!!!! She's here! That's really her! AHHHHH!!!!....Wow, she's so awesome in person. Totally nice and welcoming. So funny! I can't wait to hear her read... I can't believe I'm going to get to meet The Bloggess and she's going to sign my book! Wait, why does that lady get to go to the front of the line? Just cuz' she has a baby?! I knew there was a reason people had those... Crap, what am I going to say to her? Something witty and memorable. Something that will make her say, "You're so funny! Let's go have a drink and be BFFs forever!" At least it won't be, "I should have peed." Though that would have been funny. Ahh! It's my turn next... And this is what I said: 

Me: Hi! I'm Sara and it's so great to meet you!

The Bloggess: Hi! Thanks for coming out.

Me: You're my blogging inspiration. You're why I started blogging!

The Bloggess: Oh, that's so sweet! Thank you.

(small awkward silence)

Me: I'm from Texas too! Amarillo. I once stepped on the same rattlesnake twice in a row.

The Bloggess:(laughing) We are clearly soul sisters!

At that point I think I died a little. SOUL SISTERS she said. Soul. Sisters.

I thanked her again and left. My time in her presence was over. Should I have stayed longer? Would it have lead to drinks and promises of BFF forever-ness? Probably not. (But Jenny, if you're reading this, let's hang out! I'm super fun and full on quirky stories and non-sequiters!)

Thanks to The Bloggess for inspiring this fellow crazy girl to put it all out there...

Thursday, March 22, 2012

You'll Never See It Coming...

An actual conversation we had in the car...

Me: Do you ever worry about invisible cars?

Chris: No.

Me: I do.

Chris: Of course you do.


Chris: *sigh* Fine, I'll ask. Why do you worry about invisible cars?

Me: Well, what if there is an invisible car. You'll never see it! You could pull right out in front of it. Or rear end it. And then you'll be all, What the fuck was that! But you insurance company won't pay because there was no other car. Because it's invisible.

Chris: And then insurance would go throught the roof because of all the accidents.

Me: Exactly...


Me: You're thinking about invisible cars now, aren't you.

Chris: Goddammit...

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.4
Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.4

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Also, I Don't Want To.....

This is an actual text message conversation between Chris and I. He was in the basement and I was upstairs, and obviously I'm too lazy to go downstairs to talk to him. Also, he can't hear me if I try and yell. I want to put in some kind of between floors vent solely for the purpose of yelling, but Chris says no. So this is what happens...

Me: When you come upstairs will you take out the trash?

Chris: What, are your legs broken?

Me: Well, I don't have pants on so that's pretty much the same thing....

At this point, I swear I could hear a *facepalm*...

Chris: Yes

Me: You're the best

Chris: Yes