Friday, November 27, 2009

Spatchcocking-Sounds dirty, doesn't it?

Every year I try to expand my culinary skills by attempting something that seems complicated or too fancy for everyday cooking. Last year, for example, I popped my prime rib cherry. 2009 is the year of the spatchcocked turkey.

Yeah, it's a flat turkey.

The lack of a backbone enables the turkey to cook faster and brown more evenly. Sadly, it also inhibits the turkey from standing up to bullies or saying how it really feels. Can I just say that I LOVE the (spatch)cock? This baby was done in under two hours and had none of that gross, not-crispy skin on the bottom. Also, way easier to move from pan to carving board. I had a slight problem with one leg being underdone and the other leg being perfect. I'm chalking that up to my crappy oven with it's evil, uneven heating ways.

Who knows what the future hold for my next culinary adventure. The ever daunting souffle? Or maybe that pork roast that looks like a crown? Stay tuned....

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Fallout 3-Where things throw poo at you...

For those of you who aren't gaming geeks, Fallout 3 is a game where you roam the wasteland that is the United States 200 years after huge nuclear war. I only know this because a better part of my evenings are spent watching Chris play. There are raiders and ghouls, huge scorpions and bear-things, super mutants and slavers....all in all a wonderland of things trying to kill you. Or eat you. A typical mission goes something like this....

Chris blasts the head off a raider attacking him. Blood gushes, the body spinning mid-air in slow motion...

Chris: (yelling) That's what I'm talkin' about motherfucker! Fuck You! (now checking the body for supplies) Sweet! Mole rat meat! (seriously)

Me: Ewww. Dude, if the apocalypse comes around just kill me now. I'm soooo not down for MOLE RAT.  Maybe the squirrel on a stick. (again, seriously) But no way am I eating something that is both mole and rat.

Chris: It's the WASTELAND. You do what you have to do to survive.  Shit. I see one of those giant mutant scorpions. I HATE those fuckin' things.  I think this calls for a mini-nuke. (mini-nuke? really.)

Launches mini-nuke. Scorpion pieces rain from the sky.

Chris: YEAHHHH!!!!!

Me: So are you going to eat that?

Chris: No, that's gross.

Me: Whatever happened to "You do what you have to do to SURVIVE?"(talking in my "Chris voice")
I mean, can you eat anything in this game? Like people? Ooooh, can you eat PEOPLE?! Cuz that's what you'd have to do right? I want to see you eat some people!

Chris: (looking like I'm crazy) I don't eat people. Or dogs. Or SCORPIONS! (but you're ALL OVER the mole rat. just sayin'.)

Me: Just not hard core enough I guess.

Chris: (eye roll)


Me: What is THAT? (it was so gnarly. like some kind of mutated person, octopus, blob thing.) Wait, what is it throwing at you? Is it throwing POO AT YOU!?

Chris: Not exactly.

Me: For real, that thing it totally flinging poo. What kind of game IS THIS?

Chris: (eye roll)

Friday, November 20, 2009

Blog, blog, blog...

So I'm starting this blog. I mean, everyone today has a blog. Like, Paris Hilton's chihuahua probably has it's own blog. I'll bet it's really depressing though. Always offering money for someone to rescue it and telling sad stories about being traded for drugs. But anyhoo, I figure my musings are just as entertaining. For reals ya'll, crazy shit happens to me ALL THE TIME. Besides, I need to write again. So I'm blogging...

Step One: Acquire a super handy notebook in which to write down witty commentary and interesting observations. OMG! I am JUST LIKE Harriet the Spy! Except I can be prosecuted as an adult for trespassing. Seriously though, wasn't Harriet awesome? Loved her. There should be a follow-up for Harriet. Like maybe she actually became a spy, but her cover was blown by that guy that outed Valerie Plame. Moving on....

Step Two: Think of a great blog name. The name is everything people. I mean, besides content or whatever. Hmmmm. Blog Goddess? Nah. Blog Hog? I think not. Are you there blog, it's me Margaret. Too long and my name's not Margaret. It's BLOG! It's BLOG! It's blog the wonderful toy! It's fun for a girl or a boy. Wow, I'm the worst blog name thinker upper ever.... Why blog? Why!?

Hey, that's kinda catchy...